Friendly and honorable intentions aside
(For I can guarantee they did exist)
Honest goodwill was simply not enough to safeguard against
Your naturally brilliant manner of deceiving
Not only those who should never trust you, but also yourself
In your effortless malice I’ve met the only human bane
To which my ego has reacted most spitefully
by betraying its most condescending, ugliest, and cruelest form
As a beast relishing an evil justice against the insult of your existence
Of your pathetic delusions that you could ever threaten mine
When you are barely worth the words you have written
And the respect you occasionally inspire is quickly exhaled
And one finds it smells and tastes just like cigarette smoke
In any case, pity would subdue me and sympathy, empathy, and decency would rein in this disgusting, resentful lunacy.
You are not really all that bad, I know; I feel like I projected too much on you after you hurt my feelings. And I’m truly ashamed I ever felt that way. And I guess you can feel good about that, since I know you eat up that petty shit like pills.
Anyway, I will say this: the best thing you ever wrote that I read was when you were describing your parents’ attitude towards your grievances. Something like everything you tried to convey to them about your mood they would treat “as if it were a napkin they used to spit out their food”. Good shit.