The struggle is real.

Stability eludes me

Like that analogy in Fahrenheit 451

Where the narrator describes the inability

To retain the information he reads

In my case, my body is the sieve

Stability poured in by meds and support

Until it starts to gradually fall through

All the poked little holes of me

And suddenly emptied of balance

I’m all whim and aimless and untethered

I’m sick and wrong and faithlesss

Being awake is shameful and chaotic

And sleep offers the stability I crave

I give daydreaming its literal meaning

Night comes and it makes no difference

I don’t want to lose the peace I feel

When I’m safely inside myself

In a realm as familiar as it is strange

But free, unburdened by the reality without

Until my body says “enough”

Forcing me back into a corporeal state

(And suddenly I’m a fucking meme)

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