April 11th, 2021

4/11/2021

March Apology Tour 2021

In the last two weeks, I have experienced unprecedented cycles of emotional pain and instability. The most recent Lows have resulted from intense downward spiral-shaped tunnels reaching uncharted depths. When I have sacrificed days to the apathy and hypersomnia symptomatic of my depressive states, hypomania comes, not as my ally, but as an impulse towards self-sabotage and sickness.

Last week I had my first “good day” in so long… I cried when I admitted this to my brother. The next day (Thursday), I found myself following my depression’s creature further down to the point where I felt deader inside than I had in a long time. My behavior towards myself and others during was unforgivable that day.

Consequently, Friday and Saturday have been spent trying to revive myself.

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