March Apology Tour 2021
In the last two weeks, I have experienced unprecedented cycles of emotional pain and instability. The most recent Lows have resulted from intense downward spiral-shaped tunnels reaching uncharted depths. When I have sacrificed days to the apathy and hypersomnia symptomatic of my depressive states, hypomania comes, not as my ally, but as an impulse towards self-sabotage and sickness.
Last week I had my first “good day” in so long… I cried when I admitted this to my brother. The next day (Thursday), I found myself following my depression’s creature further down to the point where I felt deader inside than I had in a long time. My behavior towards myself and others during was unforgivable that day.
Consequently, Friday and Saturday have been spent trying to revive myself.